Suicide Room
by Forever Waiting For Love
Summary: One innocent kiss changes Alec's life forever. He begins to isolate himself from the outside world, spending all his time on his computer where he meets Magnus, a 19 year old boy intent of killing himself - if only he had the courage. As Magnus and Alec spend more and more time together over the Internet they decide to meet up, though it may already be too late for Alec.
1. Innocent Kiss

**Hey so um...This is my new fic even though I haven't finished any of the others :/ And I know I haven't updated in a while, mostly because I've lost all will to write but I've had this idea in my head for a long time and finally felt like writing it down. But anyway I'm not going to say that this might get me back into updating, cause I probably wont, don't ask me why.**

**I wish I could finish at least one story but like I said I've kind of lost my spark :/ Which is really annoying for me. So...I'm kinda hoping that I won't give up on this one though I can sort of already tell that I might but I'm gonna give it a go. btw it will be all in Alec's pov and Alec is a only child so there is no Isabelle and Jace is only his friend, not his adoptive brother.**

Alec went straight to his room when the driver dropped him off at his house. As usual the house was completely silent apart from the sound of his footsteps as he walked up the stairs. He closed the door behind him and dumped his bag on the desk next to his shiny new black laptop. He sat down in the chair and pushed his laptop aside.

He had his final exams soon and he needed to study. He went through his bag and took out everything he needed and his notebook. He opened it to a new page and stared to write down notes.

Time was passing slowly and he soon found himself looking constantly at his clock. After an hour of studying he pushed it all aside and opened his laptop, turning it on and logging in. As he waited for it to start up he sat back in his chair and ran a hand through his hair before touching his lips faintly, smiling at a memory.

Alec was an 18 year old student. He had the hottest girl in school, loads of friends and rich parents. He could buy anything he wanted. Have anything he wanted.

It was only recently that that had changed.

At a party he'd gone to after prom he'd had a few drinks with his friends though he remembered everything clearly. His best friend Jace had dared Alec's girlfriend and Jace's own girlfriend to make out since Clary – Jace's girlfriend – had never kissed another girl before. Of course they agreed, on one condition. Jace had to make out with Alec. Jace had agreed to it without letting Alec have a chance to say anything. Jace was drunk at the time, more so then Alec as per usual. After Clary and Alec's girlfriend had made out everyone's attention had gone to him and Jace. Alec only went along with, thinking it would be a harmless kiss but as Jace had pressed his lips to his the kiss deepened and soon Jace's tongue had found it's way into his mouth and it had all been divine.

It was in that exact moment that Alec had realised he was gay.

In class the next day Jace had turned in his seat to glance at Alec and had slowly licked his lips seductively. That had made Alec smile and he too had licked his lips at Jace who only grinned at him. He turned back around before excusing himself from the classroom. As Jace walked past Alec's desk he ran his hand up Alec's arm, making goosebumps rise on his skin.

A smile came to Alec's lips at the memory and he grinned before logging onto facebook. He scrolled down at bit before seeing the video of him and Jace kissing. It caught his attention and his eyes widened when he saw there were 81 likes. He looked at the comments, reading them. There were no bad comments. A lot of people even said it was hot.

Alec couldn't believe it.

Only problem was it was only a joke. He knew he and Jace would never go out. Jace was probably the straightest guy alive. But hey, Alec could dream.

He turned off his laptop and got up, going downstairs to get something to eat as his stomach.

**Very short I know but this will probably be the only 'happy' chapter. And yes, Magus will come in soon, maybe in a few more chapters. That's if it lasts that long :P**

**Forever Waiting For Love**


	2. Judo

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed, alerted, added to favourites, and yes, it is based off of a film xD So a lot of you should know what's coming up next **

Alec wiped his brow with the back of his hand. He was covered in a thin layer of sweat and was about to lunge for the guy when his judo teacher, Luke Garroway, called his name. He stopped his attack and looked at his teacher. "Yeah?" he asked.

"With Jace," he said, turning to another pair of students.

Alec turned to look at Jace who nodded at his partner before walking towards Alec. Alec felt his breathing hitch as the white shirt he was wearing showed off his muscled chest, making Alec weak to the knees. His golden locks were plastered to his face, damp with sweat and he grinned at Alec who grinned back.

While Alec was still a orange belt, Jace was a green belt and much more experienced then Alec which put him off a little.

Jace quickly reached out to grab Alec's wrist but he stepped back before he could grab him. Jace chuckled and lunged for him, grabbing his shoulders and trying to bring him to the floor. Alec struggled against him, gripping his elbows and tried to keep his balance but Jace knocked him to the floor anyway. Alec felt a sharp pain in his side but ignored it and got back up, a grin on his face.

He went to throw a punch but Jace blocked it and knocked him onto the floor again but he quickly got back up. Alec blew his hair out of his eyes and moved towards Jace again.

The two struggled for a moment before Jace once again threw him to the ground. By now Alec was starting to get annoyed. He felt like he needed to prove to Jace that he could beat him. As soon as he got up he rugby tackled him to the ground, knocking him over and feeling quite satisfied with himself. Though somehow Jace managed to get on top of him and slammed his shoulders down. The two struggled. Alec trying to get Jace off of him and Jace trying to keep him pinned down. All traces of friendliness had left Alec's face and Jace only smirked at Alec's struggling. Alec was panting hard and he felt Jace's crotch rub against his own.

Jace grabbed Alec's thigh, shoving it down and Alec tried to shove him off. Jace pressed his knees into Alec's thighs, keeping him pinned and stopping him from kicking.

Alec's breathing was getting faster and faster before he stopped struggling all together as he felt pleasure rush through him. His head tilted back and his eyes squeezed shut. Jace noticed the change in him and when Alec's eyes slowly opened he looked up at Jace who stared down at him, confusion written on his face. His face softened and Alec went limp under him. Jace loosened his grip and slowly smirked. Alec looked down at his crotch, seeing the stain and heat rushed to his cheeks. Jace followed his gaze, seeing the stain too and he quickly got off Alec and looked back at him. He then started laughing.

"Fucking hell," he said, still laughing as Alec rushed to his feet and got out of there as fast as he could.

...

Alec couldn't believe what had just happened. He was mad, so angry and himself and Jace. He screamed and slammed his fist into his locker, ignoring the pain that shot through him. He threw his judo uniform to the floor and grabbed his phone out of his pocket, dialling his driver. He needed to get out of there. Fast. When his driver picked up he didn't give him a chance to speak.

"Hello, can you pick me up?" He asked, trying to control his voice.

"But you don't finish yet," he driver replied, sounding confused.

Alec bit his lip. "But I have finished. Pick me up now. Where are you?"

His driver paused before answering. "I'm like...on the other side of town..."

"Where are you?" Alec asked again, his heart hammering in his chest.

"I can pick you up in an hour," he said. Alec didn't get the answer he wanted and he could feel his anger rising.

"Don't you understand? I've finished now! When will you come? In ten minutes?" Alec was getting more and more frustrated as the conversation went on. He didn't want to stay in this hell-hole for any longer. He needed to get out.

His driver sighed. "We have a schedule remem-"

Alec cut in. "I know the schedule, fuck the schedule! I know the fucking schedule by heart!" he rarely swore but right now he honestly couldn't care at all. He was just so mad. "You are to be here waiting for me! You are to wait here! You are to be here for me!" his voice rose with every word until he was shouter. His driver kept trying to talk but Alec didn't give him the chance. "Fuck! You're to watch over me, stay with me all the time!" his throat was hurting from the shouting. Before the driver could speak Alec had had it. He held the phone away from his ear and shouted into it. "Fine, have it your way! I'm going home alone! ALONE!" He then screamed into the phone before ending the call and throwing it with all his might at the lockers opposite him, effectively breaking

...

Alec took the bus. He sat by the window near the front and rested his head on the cool glass. He'd finally calmed down but he was still very mad. Again his anger was growing as a group of guys at the back of the bus were playing techno music very loud. He _hated_ techno music. He tried to ignore it as best he could but couldn't help but glancing at them. The one who was playing the music was standing up and nodding his head to could tell that he wasn't the only one annoyed with it. He could tell by their faces that the other passengers were annoyed but didn't dare do anything about it. Alec looked away, back out the window and pursed his lips. Without really thinking about it he got up and moved towards the back of the bus, over to them.

"Turn it off," he said quietly, not looking at them. The only gave him a look. "I told you to turn it off," he said again, this time looking at the one who was playing it dead in the eye. The guy glanced at one of his friends before looking back at him with a smirk. "Turn it off," Alec said again.

"Why?" the guy finally replied.

"Cause I hate techo music," Alec said, narrowing his eyes.

"So? Go back to your seat," one of the other guys said.

Alec glared at him. "I wasn't talking to you," he snapped.

"I don't know who your talking to but I'm talking to you," the guy said and laughed. "Go back to your seat," he said.

Alec glared at him before slowly turning around and heading back to his seat. No. Why should he do what they said? They meant nothing to him. He stopped, balled up his fists before turning and looking at them, walking back over to them.

"Turn it off, understand?" he said.

"What's your problem?" one of them asked.

Alec glared. "Turn it off!"

"Hell no!"

That did it. Alec pulled back his fist and punched him right in the face. It was a bad move on his part. The guys friends then attacked him, punching, kicking, hitting him. One of the passengers moved to the front of the bus, not wanting to be anywhere near the fight. Alec tried to fight back but he was out-numbered.

**I don't have much to say except that I hoped you like this chapter and please review! I'd like to know if I do the movie justice. Also I'm sorry if there are any mistakes :P**

**Forever Waiting For Love**


	3. Suicide Room

**Well I took a break from role playing since I used to be obsessed with it and so I haven't for like...a couple weeks so basically it's just magically given me the will to update :P Please don't hate me for taking so long D: So to say sorry here's a somewhat long chapter. Also I'm sorry is there are any mistakes but I'm sure there aren't any too bad...**

Alec was sat on his couch, his shirt pushed up as he absent-mindedly prodded at his cuts and bruises. They didn't hurt too bad but every now and then he'd wince a little. Only a little.

He looked up as his father walked into the room, a stern unhappy expression on his face. Robert walked straight up to the doctor who had just finished examining Alec a few minutes ago.

"Good evening," Robert said. "How is he?"

The doctor sighed. "Just a few scrapes and bruises. Nothing serious. Just a fight," she said with a small shrug, getting her bag ready to leave.

"Nothing serious?" Maryse's voice cut in. "They almost killed him!" she snapped.

The doctor pretended not to hear her, still speaking to Robert. "I left the prescriptions for him. Call if you need me," she said before rushing out the door as if they all had some kind of disease.

Robert sighed, watching her leave. "Thank you," he said.

"Unbelievable," Maryse said, looking at Alec. "He took the bus home because the driver didn't turn up!"

Robert moved towards Alec who was still poking at his stomach. "The driver will lose his license. You'll be taking cabs," he said as he sat down next to Alec on the couch who didn't even look at him. "Outrageous," Robert said. "You hire someone to drive your child and the boy goes on a bus."

Maryse pulled on her coat and wrapping a silk scarf around her neck. "We'll take them to court, sue them and see what happens," she said, suddenly very calm.

Robert pulled his phone out of his pocket. "I'm calling the lawyer."

"Have him come in the morning," Mayrse told him.

Robert sighed. "I can't do it in the morning," he said.

Mayrse placed her hands on her hips, staring at him. "I've got to pick my clients up from the airport," she said.

"I've a meeting at the Ministry."

"I take them out to dinner."

Alec had blocked their bickering out as best he could but it was really annoying him now. Would they ever shut up?

"I have to get that job you know?"

"Everyone has something to do."

"This one looks like Italy," Alec murmured, running his finger over a bruise between his pecs.

Both Maryse and Robert stopped talking and looked at him.

Robert looked away. "The lawyer should be here now," he said.

"What is it with you? Why do you need the lawyer now?" Maryse snapped and looked up as a man walked into the room. Alec eyed him as he slowly pushed his shirt down.

"Taxi is here, madam," he said.

Maryse sighed. "I know. I'm coming," she said and grabbed her purse, walking around the couch.

The man looked at Roberts. "Maybe something to eat, sir...?" he asked.

Robert shook his head. "No, thanks."

The man nodded but just before he walked out of the room Robert spoke.

"Actually...Coffee please," he said and looked down at his phone.

It was silent for what seemed forever except from the beeps that sounded when Robert pressed a button on his phone.

Without a word Alec got up from the couch and walked out of the room with Robert watching him go.

(Line break)

Alec was sat at his desk in his room and had logged onto facebook. He checked it, seeing that everything was okay until he scrolled down.

Jace had updated his status.

**OMG! This Judo will make history!**

There were 43 comments.

Alec's breathing had gotten heavier and he swallowed the lump in his throat as he clicked on the button that would show all the comments.

-What the fuuuuck?

-No fucking way this shit happened!

-Jace, are you gonna have kids?

-unFUCKINGbelievable!

-Jace, did the sperm come off?

-Spermwrestling! Ha ha!

-Ha ha ha!

-Fucking spermshooter!

Those were only some of the comments.

By now tears were welling up in Alec's eyes and his blood boiled. How could Jace do that to him that...that...that bastard!

Alec's life was ruined now, all because of one little incident. Why did the coach have to fucking pair him up with Jace? Why Jace of all people?

He stared at the screen and began to rock back and forth before he flipped. He slammed his hands down onto the desk and stood, tangling his fingers in his hair and tugged tightly, almost ripping out the silky black strands. He walked over to his bed and kicked the mattress.

He paced back and forth, trying to calm himself down but it didn't work. He growled and fell onto his bed, grabbing his pillow and hitting the mattress with it before burying his face in it and screaming as he writhed around, unable to control himself. If someone walked in right now they'd probably think he was possessed.

His computer bleeped and he froze. He pulled his face away from the pillow, his eyes puffy and red as he stared at his computer. After staring at if for a few minutes he finally got up and walked over to it, sitting down on the chair. He sniffled and wiped at his eyes before leaning towards the screen and looking at it. He tried to calm himself down and saw that someone wanted to private chat with him.

He didn't know who it was but what it read surprised him.

_SUICIDE ROOM: I'm bleeding, quietly living _

Alec stared at the screen, not sure what to make of it. He sniffled again before replying

**BlueEyes: I'm living, quietly bleeding**

Alec sat back in his chair and watched the screen, lifting his arms up to place them behind his head.

_SUICIDE ROOM: Come to me_

Alec shifted his chair closer to his computer and ran his fingers lightly over the keys, thinking of what to type.

**BlueEyes: How?**

Not after a moment he had replied a new site popped up and the first word he read was 'Join us' in big letters. He studied the page, realising it was one of those chats that you sign up to and create an avatar.

He clicked on the join us button and began to create his own avatar, one the closely resembled him.

Once he had created his avatar and signed up his avatar was placed in a bar.

**(A/N From now on I'll be writing from his avatars point of view so it makes things easier)**

Alec looked around the club and to his dismay a techno song was playing but he was far more interested in his surroundings. People were dancing, chatting, drinking, lights flashing. It was like he really was there.

_-PURPLE HAIR_

Alec ran towards the bar before sitting down, still looking around. It was all so new to him. It amazed him and he even forgot about everything that had happened with Jace.

Alec looked around for someone with purple hair when he spotted the guy at the bar not too far from him. The guys hair was spiked up and he was looking down. He seemed bored.

**BlueEyes: Hey**

The guy got up and Alec saw his yellow cat like eyes.

**BlueEyes: Is that you?**

Alec got off the bar stool and headed over to the purple haired man. He didn't reply, simply smirked at him and gestured for Alec to follow. He then turned around and moved towards the dance floor. Alec followed.

**BlueEyes: Hello?**

**BlueEyes: ?**

Alec almost lost him in the crowd but spotted him. He headed towards him, now standing in front of him.

**BlueEyes: I though we would talk**

**BlueEyes: Instead of dancing in some game**

The boy stopped dancing and stared at him.

**(A/NBack to reality)**

The game site closed down and on his screen it was split in half, he could see himself on one side and nothing but darkness on the other.

He heard the sound of weeping.

Alec frowned. "Uh...Hello?"

He could faintly make out the shape of a face but it was too dark to really see anything.

"Hello? Anybody there?" he asked again. He paused, but got no reply. "I can hear you breath." Still no reply. "I'm showing you my face." He said. "Now show me yours...Suicide Room."

He stared at the screen and after a moment a boys face came into focus though it looked like he was wearing some kind of mask

"You're wearing a mask?"

The boy shook his head.

"You're ill or something?"

Again the boy shook his head. He took a deep breath and looked away from the screen.

"Why the mask?" Alec asked again.

The boy stared at him before moving back into the dark. "It protects me," he whispered. "From harmful people and substances."

Alec wet his lips. "Do you need help? Maybe you'd like me to call someone?" he asked. "Get someone to see you?"

"Look, look!" the boy said, moving back into focus and raising his arm so Alec could see the long gash across his arm. "Take a good look!"

Alec sat back.

"See? Try fucking calling anybody!" The boy sobbed. "I'll fucking top myself, I will! Razors are my friends," he paused to try and breath. "They have very sharp tongues...Is that what you want!" he screamed the last part.

Alec stared and leaned forward. "Calm down," he said softly. "Why do you want to kill yourself?"

The boy sobbed, staring down before he smacked his lips and laughed before turning to look back at Alec. "Why don't you want to kill yourself?"

"To live," Alec said without hesitation.

The boy sniffled. "And I want to kill myself to die," he said. He took in a shaky breath. "I need to pluck up the courage and I'll do it," he whispered.

"What's your name?" Alec asked curiously.

"Magnus...Ah...Magnus," he said.

"Magnus?" Alec watched him. "I'm Alec," he said.

Magnus stared at him. "Hi Alec.

"Hi Magnus."

The two stared at each other before Magnus sighed and looked to the side. "You know...This is my room," he said, talking about the complete blackness. "You like it?"

Alec nodded his head. "I do."

Magnus seemed happy about that.

"This is my room." Alec said and sat back so that Magnus could see his room through the web cam. "You like it?"

Magnus chuckled and nodded. "Ok...What happened...to your eye?" he asked.

Alec sighed. "I uh...I had an accident. Out of my own stupidity," he said.

"Well, well," Magnus said. "An accident out of my own stupidity was what I had today," Magnus told him and showed him his arm again.

Alec smiled and shrugged.

Magnus sighed and glanced down before looking back at him. "You were doing just fine until now," he murmured. At Alec's confused look he spoke again. "Don't you know the components of the air you breathe?" he asked. "This air is killing you. I can see that. You won't fool me Alec."

Alec said nothing.

"You're fooling yourself. Why are you doing it?"

"How do you mean 'fooling', I'm not trying to..." Alec was cut off as Magnus disappeared.

Alec frowned. "Hello?"


End file.
